Standing in Someone Else’s Shoes by Krysten York

12 Feb Standing in Someone Else’s Shoes by Krysten York

“Put yourself in their shoes,” a saying I heard countless times from my mother growing up. Whenever a friend would upset me in some way, my mom would gently remind me that I may not understand what’s going on in their life. She encouraged me to be kind and to try and understand.

People are complicated. It’s not easy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, actually it’s pretty hard. Imagine all of the stressors in your life that influence your behavior – work, family, friends – life is stressful! So, sliding on another pair of stressors doesn’t exactly seem fun, let alone easy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It can strengthen your personal relationships. Putting myself in the shoes of my friends, although difficult at times, allows me to understand the motivation behind their actions. Sharing empathy can create and strengthen compassionate friendships.

But being empathetic is tricky! Understanding the feelings of another can sometimes result in manipulation and frustration. Have you ever had a friend whose friendship feels draining? One sided? It’s okay to recognize these friendships as toxic because they are! Friendships are delicate relationships that need to be balanced.

Friendships are difficult. These are relationships that we willingly seek and yet struggle to maintain. But something seemingly small, like putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, can mean so much.

 

Kyrsten is the Manager of Donor Relations at the Bill of Rights Institute in Arlington, Virginia. She enjoys supporting all teams from Boston and is always on the lookout for a good book!