Raising Kids – Are Expectations Driving You Crazy? by Nickie Wheeler

29 Jul Raising Kids – Are Expectations Driving You Crazy? by Nickie Wheeler

Life with kids is a blessing and a challenge. My husband I have 4 kids ranging in ages 28 down to 14! The challenge on a regular basis is just managing schedules. Do you feel like you are running in a million and one directions? Spinning your wheels? Yet always behind? I used to feel that way a lot. Why? It was all about pleasing people instead of pleasing GOD. I started praying about my schedule, the kid’s schedules, was I doing enough? I noticed the focus was always on was I doing enough? God started gently reminding me that it was not my job to do everything.

Wait..what???? I wasn’t supposed to volunteer for everything. Wait?? How would things get done without me?? Oh my! The focus was on me! God started showing me that the focus should well… really ..should be on HIM! On my relationship with HIM!  I was losing track of myself in the chaos of life. Hmmm the devil loves chaos..I had fallen for that trick, once again. My challenge with this was how to change the expectations of others in relationship to my children to line up with what God actually wanted, or so I thought.. The more I prayed I realized it was about the expectation I had for myself in this WORLD. The struggle of being a single parent for a long time put me in a place where I wanted people to not see my hurt but to see that I was okay. That’s fine but I really wasn’t okay I was using the busyness of life with kids to hide my feelings. Wow, what a shock that was to my system. As God started revealing that yes I was indeed worthy without all the activity and stress, my shoulders actually began to relax. I didn’t feel like I was carrying the weight of the world. I was learning to say no..to say thanks for thinking of me, right now I am not able to help and not let the guilt lay on my heart. This allowed me to focus on what God wanted me to do. Share my struggle with other women who were struggling. He didn’t want me baking cookies, he wanted me to be out in the world, giving the encouragement and support that he needed for others. I am very relational and now having kids has given me the opportunity to meet many moms, to coach them, to pray with them, to help them with their walk in a way “keeping busy” did not create. The blessing that come from building up another mom mean more to me than all the tailgate parties I organized, all the cookies I baked, all the boxtops I cut…Life is about the people, bringing them to Him, through us and our actions. If you are too busy to hear people to be present than you can be used by God to help this world. This was a tough lesson for me, it was worth every heartache!

---

Nickie Wheeler

I was recently married after being a single mom to three wonderful kids for many years to my soul mate and encourager who showed me true love. I am life and fitness coach and am certified in several types of fitness and nutrition areas. I have worked in the public mental health field for the past 25 plus years. I am also a trained Stephen Minister and Stephen Leader. I have lead numerous bible and accountably groups over the past 15 years. My passion is to inspire women to find the best version of themselves using spiritual, physical and emotional avenues.

Facebook: Get Fit with Nickie